There is Mud in the Water
and the Magic is Gone.
Part II of II
I remember the thrill. Hours spent poring over census records, deciphering faded handwriting on old wills, and connecting the dots between generations. Genealogy was an all-consuming passion, a puzzle I was determined to solve. Then, somewhere along the way, the spark faded.
It's a common story in the genealogy community, yet it's rarely talked about. We often hear about breakthrough discoveries and unwavering dedication, but what about when the fire just… dies? If you've found yourself staring blankly at your family tree software, feeling more dread than excitement, you're not alone.
I feel after spending over 20 years of my life chasing ancestors, ghosts, brick walls, stories, and sources, I'm exhausted from having to constantly repeat myself on what and where Appalachia is and who Appalachians are.
Mud in the Water by Gasoline Gypies.
Genealogy has been a lifetime experience for me. We Appalachians tend to know our ancestors from stories. My roots are solidly based in West Virginia going back to Virginia before West Virginia became a State in 1863. It was always an adventure digging in dusty courthouse basements for documents and treasures. Visiting family to write down their stories. Finding new distant connections once the internet and email came about. The dawn of reasonably priced DNA testing was a game changer that could be the final proof needed when sources were missing or complicated relationships (NPEs especially). But, all of that will sometimes still bring out the people who only want to argue, disagree with facts/sources, and be rude.
Why Did It Happen To Me?
There are countless reasons why my genealogical journey hit a wall:
- Burnout: Let's be honest, genealogy can be intense. The research, the analysis, the endless rabbit holes – it's mentally taxing. I actually took a break in 2024 from this intense research and am not finding it easy to come back to some of brick walls. Which leads me to....
- Brick Walls: The dreaded brick wall. I've exhausted every possible avenue and many of my ancestors remain stubbornly elusive, it can be incredibly demotivating. And, then when a bully comes in to discredit you, many walk away completely. I know I walked away from working a brick wall ancestor due to cyberbullying.
- Lack of New Discoveries: The initial rush of finding new ancestors can be exhilarating. When those big breakthroughs become less frequent, the work can feel like a chore. And it is a chore with the added "time hog" to end up with nothing conclusive.
- Life Happens: Our lives are busy. Work, family, other hobbies – sometimes genealogy simply takes a backseat. And, sometimes, it really does need to take a backseat. I've ignored my family way too long because I sat at a computer looking and searching or participating in genealogy tasks that have nothing to do with my own lines.
- Shifting Interests: It's okay for your interests to evolve. I've rediscovered a passion that I never had time for: crocheting. Traveling has always been important to our family and I find myself wanting to venture out into unknown parts of Appalachia. It's ok to find a new passion and it's perfectly normal.
- Repeating Myself: I find that I end up saying the same thing, over and over, to fellow researchers who are determined to not read the help pages or advice previously given. That takes away from my time allotted to my genealogy and/or my family. The amount of wrong information on Ancestry is killing me. I try to leave detailed notes with facts laid out including sources but they keep getting ignored.
- Destroyed Family Lines: In late December, someone went on FamilySearch and merged my entire Bonner family lines into a brand new family with a completely different name. It will take hundreds of hours to fix this mess. The worst part is that I've used those family search profiles for sources on other locations .... and they now point to a completely different person.
- Facebook-like Conversations: Genealogy, to me, is a serious topic. It is riddled with mysteries and discoveries that are not so pleasant. When others, that you interact with, make fun of circumstances by laughing at your discovery or treat a genealogy focused group as if it's Facebook with a lot of non genealogy related discussions, I check out. I truly miss Roots Web where it was all about helping each other.
- Know-It-Alls: The moment I step away from a fun genealogy resource, someone, in particular, jumps in as the "know it all" who then proceeds to add wrong information all for the sake of being a know it all. Everyone knows this person to be a know-it-all with a touch of bullying but this month, they have driven me crazy with their attitude. It's ok to not know it all. Truly, it is ok. Speaking of bully....
- Bullies: I can no longer handle the genealogy bullies that feel they can talk down to me, harrass me, or threaten me. Frankly, my mental health is more important.
Can you just take a break? I did for about a decade. And now I focus on what I want to - rather than feeling like I need to push the lines further back, or break through every brick wall. I find I'm much more interested in understanding my 19th and early 20th century ancestors and the way they lived their lives - than I am in uncovering one more pre-1640 immigrant or one more gateway ancestor to English nobility. Or can you shift your focus to a project that just calls to you? or interests you? And share it just with people you think will be interested? Take care
ReplyDeleteYou gave many great suggestions! I have taken a very short break during May and June which helped tremendously. And, I so agree with you about learning more about my more modern ancestors. I have a better chance of finding living people who have pictures and stories of them and also sources and newspaper articles. I think I will take your suggestion and focus just on my direct line from 1850 to now. There is more connection to them, for me. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts.
DeleteSandy, I didn't realize that you were struggling because I was too. I came back during WikiTree's Connect-o-thon but I don't do genealogy every day anymore. It felt like my contributions were just a drop in the bucket. I do value your input and would miss you if you were gone.
ReplyDelete